Smells Like Rain

In the human race
Pain all over the place
People running and hiding
No one they think to their siding

So the drought comes
The stench of dry bones
And lifeless meat
No one they think can
Save them from heat

The clouds overhead
They sigh with dread
This is just another tease
No rain
It's the same

But the wind flurries along
And ll of a sudden
The hairs start to curl
And the smell of Rain
Begins to unfurl

They don't know what to do
Hid and run?
Sit and enjoy?
And before they have
Time to think

It now doesn't just
Smell like rain
It pours

It rains and rains
And purs and pours
Nothing can stop it
No need for doors

All that the heat had devoured
Washed away by a flood
They just sat their
And no need for doors

All that hte heat had devoured
Washed away by a flodd
They just sat their and
Smiled with joy
Even playing in the mud

Even though they doubted
The rain it came the same
To reveal its almighty power
They could never be the same.

-SMELL THE RAIN-

Coming to terms

It was one of those nights
They don't happen often but when they do
They hit you like a punch in the face
It wants to take you out

It's weird
Because I felt like I knew it was going to happen
God most likely
Even while I was in process of being
Unreasonably annoyed and irritated
I knew it was happening
And I was pretty proud for not being as bitter as I could have been

But still
I was on the verge of tears multiple times
And I just wanted to quit, go in a corner, and cry
With no one to ask what was wrong
No one to answer to
No one to barge in on my selfish time

But I didn't
Until it was over
Then I found my quiet place
And cried out to the living God
The only one who knew where I was
The only one who knew my state of mind
The only one who could listen
The only one who could help
And I told Him
That He was the God of the universe
And that I wanted whatever grandeur job
Or situation He has planned for me
Because that's all I could muster
Nothing more.

Lady at the hospital

Sitting on the floor
Crying
In hopeless despair she puts her face in her hands
I stand next to her
Not knowing the circumstance
I ask lovingly
If I could pray with her
She says, "no, I'm ok".
I stand there
In seeing her pain
Slide down by her side
I look at her
The frustration apparent
I say, "I know this may sound weird but God loves you".
She looks at me and says
"I know"
And I said that I wasn't there to make her be something
I told her that God loved her
That He sees her tears
And that everything will work out
It may not be the way we wanted or expected
But He will
She said that she prays all the time
And I said, "Then you know it's true".
She looked at me with tears in her eyes
Slightly nodding her head
I got up and went to the waiting room
Praying for God to give her peace
I walked back out and away to school
Hoping she would have a good day
And as I walked away
She looked at me
I felt like I was there for a purpose
Like her angel.
Letting her know that God was there
Loving and listening.

J&A

I have a friend.
And she thinks I'm weird.
Why?
Because I speak in an odd manner in which includes words containing
More than 3-syllables
But...we are friends.

I have a friend.
She belches uncontrollably.
Why?
To "digest her food".
But...we are friends.

How funny the world can be.
Bringing us people who we never thought we would normally come into contact with
And making us life long friends
Of course we could never live together
For the simple fact
That we would soon be rid of the other
In ways I would rather not say.

She is actually to the left of me...
Texting away as usual.
But me?
Writing about the irony of life.

Good news...

Sometimes
There are those days when you wonder...
And wondering leads to thinking...
Thinking doesn't do anything but frustrate...
So when the the wondering is answered
In a way only God can do
It's nice.
Because the burden of the question
Is no longer on you.

Honest?

I don't understand
The reason for this song
Except that I come glorify You
Despite my fleshy feelings
You have come so far and above
Always there
In my lack of better judgment

Everday
I sing songs to You
But do I mean them?

I try to convince myself
That I am a true worshiper
What a heavy load that seems to carry
And yes Lord
I know you take our loads if we ask
But the process just seems so...well...
Repetitive

But thank you God
That you use me
Just the way I am
Faults and all
Though you mold me
And shape me
There isn't a certain
Point I need to be
For me to do Your will

I now understand...as though I didn't before
How the mind is left behind
When feelings are on soar
Better judgment is left at bay
And when the fog is lifted
We wonder why
Circumstances have shifted

Now I stand here
An example of
The better judgment
That we'll call
"tough love"

Butterflies come
And butterflies go
But be sure that today
The one most high let me know

Thank you Nero

When I was looking down
From the sky soooo high
I thought about the times
When I didn't think I could fly
And here I am
With wings of eagles
Not because of me
But because of Nero

Here I am
High above the trees
Soaring with the breeze
And nothing can stop me
Here I am
Eyes wide open
Thank you Nero once again

21st Birthday Part 2

So...
Some of my friends took me out to Chili's which was a lot of fun and I got a hilarious gift of spicy mexican candy which I love so much :). Then my quadmates(college dorms) took me out for icecream where I insisted I get a bottle of Martinelli's sparkling cranapple. Yes. Why? Because of a covenent I signed saying I am not allowed to partake in such events as alcohol drinking. That's ok with me, but I really had this need to put the Martinelli's in a paper bag and "rampage" across campus just to be well...obnoxious. I had told many people about it because I just felt the need to let out the crazy for my big 21. So I did, my friend opened the lid for me and I took her with me so if someone did question me, she could vouch that I wasn't getting drunk. I'm not going to lie. It was fun seeing people's faces and wondering what they were thinking. I think this kind of goes along with Amber always trying to push the limits...not necessarily a good thing. I sort of thought about it afterward and hoped that I didn't (and I'm not being sarcastic), make anyone have flashbacks of times past or anything like that.

I'm not gonna lie, I think that if I wouldn't have done it I would have been a little disappointed. But I'm also not gonna lie when I say that this taught me that I shouldn't just do things to piss people off. And that I never know how what I say or do will affect someone.

So in short, my birthday was pretty much amazing. Hard because I was away from home, but I had plenty of people here to say happy birthday and smile at me...and laugh because I was acting like an idiot.

HELLO 22nd YEAR OF LIFE---

My birthday 2008

So...
this is my first birthday away from home and I'm going pretty well. God gave me a verse right before midnight last night and when midnight struck, I could see Him super excited and giddy for my day of birth. I was having a good hair day which is always nice considering my hair is usually outta control. People have just been super nice and I had my best friend and aunt sing me happy birthday over voicemail :) I got to help my friend Noelle get her flyers together for her campaigning of ASB president which was great because I got to color...:) And then I went to the hospital to pray for people...well, a specific person. So that is what I'll write about...

I went to the hospital and I knew I was supposed to pray for a man. That in and of itself is pretty intimidating because I never really know how they are going to react to a young girl talking to them...so the first guy I saw leaning up against the railing had a neck brace on and I said, "Hi! How are you?" and he proceeded with the usual, "Pretty good". I asked him if he'd like me to pray for him and he said he was waiting for somebody. I knew it was a copout but that was ok with me. So I go inside and there was a lady I was talking to and when she got called in, there really wasn't anyone else in the admitting room. So me, being the sneaky one I can be at times...waltzed my way into the hallway looking for a man to pray for with no nurses or visitors in the room (due to the fact that I didn't "know" anybody and that I'd get in trouble). I find a room with an older gentleman and I prayed with him and talked for a couple minutes just in enough time for a visitor to come see him...then I went to visit the man next to him who was a good 20 his senior. I sat down and said, "Hi!". The man had a friendly, kind face and he immediately informed me that he was cold and his "nurse caller" wasn't working. So I talk to a lady at the desk and ask her if I could get another blanket for him and sure enough someone comes in and gives him one. He was happy. We talked for a bit, I prayed with him, and I got to hear some pretty cool things about his past like, "Do you know how much a gallon of gas was in 1940?""No". "6 cents". Haha...it was good. We just kept talking and one of the nurses came in. He asked if I was a friend of the family and I said, "yes"...with a bit of a guilty tone. The man asked how long he was going to be in the hospital and the nurse said, "Oh, for at least a couple of days because more than likely you are going to be in an extensive care facility." Now, this man wasn't having it...he looked too sad to be mad and said he was calling his wife. He's 91! All I could think of was what a full life this man had led with his wife still alive and they want to stick him in a home. That sucks. The nurse asked me again if I was a friend and I said yes, but she didn't want to discuss his business in front of me so I said goodbye to my newfound friend and made my way back to school.
-How awful. You live for so long supporting others and making sure everyone else is taken care of and when you are too old to do things on your own, they want to send you away so someone else can deal with you.
-Lord, I pray for this man and his wife that they can spend the rest of their lives together...not apart in some "home".

Minimalist

I would consider myself a minimalist. I don't like having things I don't use on a regular basis, I don't have a need for the latest and greatest. If it works, why would I need a new one? Sometimes I don't understand others' needs for buying things all the time. Maybe it's becasue I'm a college student who is trying to get out of debt and doesn't have a job. But even if I had money, what's the point on spending excessive amounts on something you're just going to want to change in a couple of months. The only thing I do that with is my hair...and even that is store bought from a box.

And having nice things isn't a bad thing. I truely believe God wants us to have good things and not lack. That's not what I'm talking about. I'm pretty sure you all know what I mean...Gucci from head to toe, a Sport Utility Vehicle for your commute (alone) back and forth to work...and I could go on and on. All I have to say is, let me pay my bills and I'll be happy.

The reason for this blogspot.

So, I used to have a myspace where I would post my thoughts and opinions, poems and songs so others may look at them, enjoy them, or ask me about them...then I decided myspace is lame so I needed an outlet for those things...so here it is.