I haven't posted in a bit...

There is so much going on. My dad is getting married this weekend... that's a whole other story. I'm looking for more steady work. I'm still eating super healthy and have been losing weight. Haven't exercised this week though so hopefully tomorrow. My creative juices are flowin. God's business is getting taken care of. There are some roadblocks I could see coming up ahead that I may have to deal with but I'll get to those when they come. I've learned to just deal with today. Just like the good ol' J.C. said. Like I said, sooo... much going on. I feel like I'm in a wave pool and just going with the flow. With the knowledge that when God wants me to swim I will. I took care of a lot of health stuff this week. Because I've NEVER had a full check-up. And it was time. Random thought, I got some epsom salt today so I can have a nice muscle relaxing bath. Which I think I might just do tonight. Why not? Cease the day!

On another note, someone who I thought was my best friend is busy. I've learned that not everyone has the same definition of a best friend. And that's ok. I'm not mad at anyone, sad? A little. Disappointed? Yeah. They meant a lot to me. Well, I always have to remember that God does things for a reason. He brings people in for a season and they aren't always here to stay no matter how much we wish they could. And you never know, God could change it up whenever He wants. There are seasons, just like in weather. He's a very clever God He is haha.

Anywho, that's a cliffnotes version of my life. Nighty night.

Ideas.

Have you ever had an idea and then months maybe even years later, you find out someone had the same idea but decided to do something about it? I have. Because it's happened to me. I don't every really think about what's stopped me from going through with an idea but there is one that I need to go through with. It's a book. I won't disclose information baha but it should be interesting. Today has been a really good day. Went to downtown Pasadena with a friend and got to see stores and buildings that make me happy. It was out of the A.V. :) Anywho, tomorrow should be interesting. Still doing my healthy eating. Just am not getting paid enough to stay with the plan I was doing so I'm pretty much wingin' it. That's pretty much it.

Green Wedges

For some reason I felt like God wanted me to try these shoes on. Mind you, I've had these shoes for.... at least 2 years. Never been able to wear them because they always suffocated my feet and it really hurt. I got a new dark grey dress from a friend today because she didn't like the way it fit her so I was like, "hey, I'll take it!". So she gave it to me. And for some reason I had my dark green jacket type thing to go with it. I really didn't want to wear shoes that hurt my feet but I was going to worry about that tomorrow. Anywho... I'm about to fall asleep and I see these green wedges (the ones at the beginning of this story) I'm like, nahhh those hurt. But I kept feeling the urge to try them on try them on. So I did. Holy monkeys they fit! It was cinderella and the glass slipper! They didn't hurt at all, and they were actually quite comfortable. I tried my whole outfit on, (minus the leggings) and it was great. I haven't been able to go shopping in Lord knows how long and because I've been losing weight I'm able to wear things (even shoes) that I couldn't wear before!!! This might sound crazy but it was like fashion christmas lol. Anywho, God is so good. It's just the boost I needed. It's 1:21 in the morning and I feel like I can keep talking but I shouldn't. :) I'm excited to go to church tomorrow ;) (hey, it's my only social event right now) baha

I had no idea...

I had no idea that the day I met you everything would change.

I never saw it coming.

Like a brick to the face, you left your mark

I can still feel the scar

a heart that was broken and so fragile

Somehow you helped me put the pieces back together

Thanks to you

I know I'm not unlovable

And I'm not being dramatic

In a world where I've always had to earn someone's love

A world where my best I thought wasn't good enough

Is no longer that world.

You were like a physical depiction of Christ's love for me

How you talked to me

Treated me

Just how you were

Even when you had no idea you were doing it.

I know I've thanked you so many times 

But...

I don't know if you'll ever understand. 

You left a mark.

And it's one I'd never want to cover up.

And you're handsome...

which didn't hurt either.

You were like a brick through my cold heart.

Letting in the light.

My prayer

This is Psalm Ch 20. In exchange for "Lord" I put "I" or anyplace you see "  " the verbage was changed just for my personal moment.
This scripture I wanted to make very personal and I really felt the Lord was/is speaking to me.

1. May "I" answer you in the day of trouble! May the name of the God of Jacob set you securely on high!
2. May "I" send you help from the sanctuary. (or holy, consecrated thing) And support you from Zion!
3. May "I" remember all your meal offerings, , and find your burnt offerings acceptable!   Selah
4. May "I" grant you your heart's desire, and fulfill all your counsel!
5. We will sing for joy over your victory, and in the name of our God we will set up our banners. May "I" fulfill all your petitions.
6. Now I know that "I" save "my" annointed; "I" will answer him from "my" holy heaven, with the saving strength of "my" right hand.
7. Some boast in chariots, and saome in horses; but we have risen and stood upright.
8. They have bowed down and fallen but we have risen and stood upright.
9. Save, O Lord' may "you" answer us in the day we call.


Let this be my prayer Lord.

Day 18

Wow. I've been on this thing for 18 days. It just seems so routine now that I hardly think about it. It's not even a struggle really to figure out what i can and can't have. I'm running out of food and definitely will by the time I have my next appointment but I don't get paid til... Well, I'm gonna say saturday so I can get the full amount of dinero. Until then I have lettuce and protein and the vitamins. I don't really know how much weight I've lost. Last week I only lost 2 pounds. But that was also cuz it was 5 days and not 7 since I had been. Also, I ate grilled veggies which lets out the caramelization process. Yeah, it's more complicated than it's worth. I went on the scale at my house which when i first went on said a certain number that was a couple different from the doctor, and it says I've lost 15 pounds!!! That would be great lol. We'll really see when I go in on Wed. Anywho, it's starting out much better of a week than the last one did so I'm happy about that. Adios!

First follow up!

So. I went in today (friday sep 2) for my first official weigh-in since I've started as well as measurments and  muscle mass vs. fat mass etc. I am happy to report that I have lost 10 pounds!!! That's crazy. I really didn't think it was that much. The lady was surprised and check it a couple of times haha. As far as inches which I've never checked before:
I've lost 3" on my waist
             1" on my hips
             1.5" on my thighs

I'm happy. I feel better already and I really feel like this is possible. Thank you Lord for the ability to do this financially and for the self-control to stay on point!