December

This has been a crazy month. My brother is in the hospital as well as my grandma...sigh...there's a lot of family and friend time. And really, my friends are like family. Might as well be. :) There's too much to talk about that has happened this month so I'll make it short. It's been crazy but a lot of lessons learned.

Why?

I guess time really does heal. Because truth and common sense aren't really doin' it for me right now. You would think that being lied to and thrown under a rug would be enough but not this romantic thinker. NOOOO. You know what? Maybe it has nothing to do with what people say. Because I see something else. I SEE how they feel, not hear it. No, it's not feelings... it's what people do and say to make themselves feel better about an end result. They know something I don't know and because for whatever reason, men feel the need to man up and say what's really going on and then we part our seperate ways or they have these strong feelings but decide that that's all it will be.

You may be reading this and think I'm completely wrong. And hey, maybe I am. But I'm the only one to speak about this with so I can think what I want. Unless someday a man would like to clearly explain. Which Ha. That'll be the day.

If you get a cynical feeling, you are right.
It's 1:30 in the morning and I'm upset that once again, I have poured out a lot of my love and spirit, only to have it applauded and not accepted.
And I still think about you.
Well...one day I won't. I've already learned not to put a time limit on it and God has an amazing way to get me distracted by things that are healthy.

Goodnight.