Starting a new tradition?

Ya know? Most of my life I've tried to avoid tradition for tradition's sake.
However, I would love to this year start something new. I think I have an idea of what but we shall see. I LOVE breakfast/brunch. I'm thinking of having a Thanksgiving or Christmas brunch for friends and family. Kind of like a potluck. I would invite people I haven't seen in awhile and if they don't come it's ok. I just want something where the friends I have who are my age (about) can just relax and have their own thing without feeling like they're stepping on anyone else's toes who have their thing for the holidays. I think it would be nice. No drama. If there's something you really like to make or eat bring it. We could do board games or whatever. Coffee, tea, special drinks. I guess I'm just so used to stepping around what everyone else wants to do for the holidays that I would like a day where what I said went and if I want to be chill and not freak out over everything, I can do that. But if I DO want things to be beautiful and in my style, then that is ok too.

Wow, I'm having control issues lol. But still, I think it's a great idea :)

Is it bad?

Is it bad to have this picture of what I want my life to look like?
To dream of traveling and ministry and marriage and all that wrapped together?
Because it seems to me that most people just take what is put in front of them and are happy with that. I don't know everything God has in store for me let alone what it will look like but I sure am not settling for what I see in the natural here and now.
It seems a shame to me that people have lost the ability to dream.
That they are content. I'm not saying that having a "normal job" or "white picket fence" life is bad.
Not at all. It just isn't for me.
I'm sure whenever things happen I'll have a home-base. Because I want to decorate and have a place to put my feet up, but I don't mind traveling. On the contrary I would love it.
I would even love it being married and doing ministry traveling. I just don't know how it works once you have kids. Well, it's all ahead of me so I'm sure the Lord will prepare my heart when it's necessary.

I'm 25 with no sign of slowing down in sight. I'm barely getting started. I guess I'm talking about this at all because things have been brought to my attention and those things haven't started bothering me yet. Kids who were in youth group when I was their leader getting married, having babies, having everything planned. I'm happy for them. Ecstatic even.

I also know a lot of women around 29 or in their early 30's who OBSESS about being married. I guess I don't know what that's like yet either. I'm happy with me and Jesus. As cheesy as it sounds. This kind of time and dedication I can give to my relationship with Him is something so precious. I know I can't get that back.

Anyway, just outwardly processing I suppose. God has a different plan for everybody. I love Him so much.

Goodnight

Random thought number ?

I sometimes see girls with a lot of makeup on and I think to myself, as much as I LOVE makeup and color and seeing it on other people, I never feel comfortable having a lot on myself. Hmmm

A bird.

I have been yearning a companion as of late. Someone who is just with me. Who I don't need to explain myself to or they to me. Who is just present.

That's why... I am going to get a bird or two. So they can keep each other company while I'm gone. I've always loved birds. People think that having a bird in a cage is something inhumane. But in turn, I would suggest that when a bird from birth has only known a cage. It becomes the safest thing it knows. If you were to take a caged bird into the wild, it wouldn't know what to do. And if it did decide to chart the unknown, sadly it wouldn't last long because it was never trained or taught what to do on the outside. So, I shall have birds. By my bed in my room as a companion.

Immortals

I have a lot on my mind but not sure if I have the energy to write it all here.

I was watching "Immortals" having to do with the hellenists and Zeus, Athena, Etc. And beside the fact that I LOVE epic films of otherworldly nature, the entire movie, I couldn't help but compare the film to how God uses us. I would probably have to take each piece apart but a big one for me was how the mortals were created in the image of the immortals. At first glance they look the same but very much not. I know that God is a spirit and whatnot but it was kind of nice to put a perspective on it. And also, even the use of a peasant to bring hope to an entire nation. The gods didn't pick the most rich or affluent  man. They saw the the heart of this peasant man and worked with him from there. How much so does God do that with us? Picking people with the most humble beginnings and seeing our hearts desire and the desire to please Him and worship Him, He works with us and through us to be the best US we can be. Those are just a few things. There are so many more. God is funny. We may not have a physical representation sometimes of how things may go down but He will even use a movie about Zeus and Theseus to bring perspective. Thank you Lord :)

New Plans

So...I'm pretty excited. I thought I had plans to go visit my friend in San Diego for a few days at the end of the month. She hasn't responded.

I had said I was going to this Jesus Culture thing a month ago. But little did I realize that it was a 3 day event all day! So... I've decided to go alone. There is a hotel close by pretty cheap and includes breakfast. The driving distance is only about 10 minutes to the Nokia. This is definitely something new for me because I usually do these things with at least one other person. But I really feel like this will be good for me. 3 days, just me and God, celebrating freedom in the Lord with a thousand other like-minded people. And who knows what'll happen!

Mean Girls

Wow... so what happened today......
Well, I had just met up with a friend I knew in my short stint at Bible School
Now he's a youth pastor here in town and we wanted to catch up
We did, we met for lunch a few days ago and I had him come by the church and see our Children's Church stage and what we were doing for the kids for VBS.
I asked him to help and everything was fine.

Anyway, he told me about going to see a movie on Sunday after church with some of his youth.
It sounded good so I took a friend of mine from church with me. Mostly because I know I don't do well in group settings haha

Sure enough, I get there and he came with a girl who I've seen him with before. When I first saw them together she was very protective over him. I thought they were together. Apparently they aren't. Anywho, when we walk into the theatre there are 3 teenage girls from his church and him. I was going to sit next to him but felt so awkward about the girl that I left the seat next to him open as to not offend anyone. It was the weirdest most awkward situation I've been in. And if anyone knows me, I've been in some PRETTY awkward situations.

It really did feel like mean girls. I felt like I was in my band again with girls getting crazy when they don't know me or have never met me. And I was 18 then. Sigh...

My friend noticed everything, even more than me. I went to the movies to see a friend and ended up feeling like the 5th wheel and trying to intrude. What's crazy is that I'm pretty sure he has no idea or that he's ignoring it so he doesn't have to deal with it. Even he was awkward. Anyway, I'm going to end up talking to him about it because for his sake he needs to know what's going on.

Anywho, not very poetic but very interesting to say the least.