So, I'm no longer the worship leader of Templo El Oasis Foursquare Church English Service.
And it's been that way since August.
It's funny how people who have known you there whole life can know so little about your personality. But in all fairness, it's all I've shown them. I have been going to practice, and showing up EVERY Sunday morning at 7:30 since January. I love leading people into the presence of God. I truly do. When I'm there, nothing else matters. Time, space, attitudes, fears, insecurities....they all melt away when I raise my hands and my voice to the One who made me and for the Son who saved me.
Because of the largest of misunderstandings I have ever been a part of in my life, that position was taken away from me. Not because of a tangible thing. Sex, drugs, partying etc. But because of a judgment call that was made in the midst of emotions on something they could not put their finger on. I was willing to stay at the Church because if anyone knows me AT ALL, they know that I will be just as loud and boisterous whether I'm on a stage or not. It doesn't matter to me. I didn't leave because a position was taken away, I left because the manner in which things were handled were so angry and vile that for me to continue as if everything was fine and dandy wasn't possible. And because the church IS my family and so small, there was so way to just show up and be a part of the service without there being more problems.
So I left. I didn't intend on it. I didn't plan it. And I most definitely did not plan on it happening the way it did but it did. It was heart wrenching for a good while. For Sundays after that, I would cry because I knew I wasn't going to do what my heart loved. That things would never be the same. That there are kids whom I loved who were going to get the crap end of the stick because of what happened. It felt like a divorce. The kids always suffer.
I went to the boy's church for awhile. It was nice to not know anybody and to just blend in but quickly I realized it wasn't for me. It's for a lot of other people which is fine and no judgment call here but I needed something else. I definitely didn't expect to find it at a church my dad had just started leading worship at called, "The Connection".
Now I'm helping my dad's wife with the coffee and bagels in the morning before and after service and sing with my dad and his band occasionally when they ask or need me. That's about all the ministry I've been able to muster. I know the Lord has divine plans that I can't see but I'm glad that I am where I am. I am my own person. No one else's.
Saturday, October 26, 2013
FAVOR.
Let's catch up.
God is amazing.
About a month and a half ago I literally spent a week only focusing on finding a new job. The Avenue has been great to me and I've met some amazing people but the inconsistency of hours and the minimum pay for extra work wasn't working for me. I got fed up. So I spent countless hours filling out online job applications, sending resumes and going to interviews. The boy gave me the idea for trying out the school district but I've always heard how hard it was to get into that I had my doubts. I applied for a campus monitor position at a Charter school (which I had never heard of). I didn't even know what the position actually meant let alone what God was doing.
I went in for the interview and as soon as I walked in it felt different. I felt at home. And I felt needed. The lady interviewing me saw that I had my AS and asked if I would be interested in teaching a Jr. High Science Enrichment class. I'm pretty sure my mouth dropped open. Me? Teaching Jr. High SCIENCE class? I mean, I've always liked science and wasn't half bad at it but it's been so long since I've focused on it. I was very clear with her that the only teaching experience I had was with church kids and tutoring and she was like, "ok".
It was 6 days after my interview that I got an official letter of an employment offer for BOTH jobs!! I jumped up and down like a little kid and didn't remember the last time I was so excited!! So then, I had to do a LIVESCAN background check to make sure I'm all good but it costs $55. Funny story, on the same day, I realized that the money I usually have in the bank to pay for my school loan was still in there so I called the company. They then informed me that I had paid my payments needed to get my loan in good standing and that they wouldn't be taking any more payments from me! I was like, "What?!!" I was so proud of myself. I finally finished something. My life is moving forward. So the money I was going to have to put out for the loan I was able to use for the background check!
So from a girl who was working 8 hours a week for minimum wage to 19 hours with 2 different job descriptions and one paying twice as much as the other while being able to do what she was made for is something so hard to describe. Like, I want to tell more people but I feel like it would be prideful. But in the same instant, I know it wasn't me. I showed up. Did the work and God opened the doors and gave me favor in a place that isn't just a place to work but a family trying to educate the lives of young ones.
There has been so much that has happened. I am in a writing mood so maybe I'll do another blog after this lol
God is amazing.
About a month and a half ago I literally spent a week only focusing on finding a new job. The Avenue has been great to me and I've met some amazing people but the inconsistency of hours and the minimum pay for extra work wasn't working for me. I got fed up. So I spent countless hours filling out online job applications, sending resumes and going to interviews. The boy gave me the idea for trying out the school district but I've always heard how hard it was to get into that I had my doubts. I applied for a campus monitor position at a Charter school (which I had never heard of). I didn't even know what the position actually meant let alone what God was doing.
I went in for the interview and as soon as I walked in it felt different. I felt at home. And I felt needed. The lady interviewing me saw that I had my AS and asked if I would be interested in teaching a Jr. High Science Enrichment class. I'm pretty sure my mouth dropped open. Me? Teaching Jr. High SCIENCE class? I mean, I've always liked science and wasn't half bad at it but it's been so long since I've focused on it. I was very clear with her that the only teaching experience I had was with church kids and tutoring and she was like, "ok".
It was 6 days after my interview that I got an official letter of an employment offer for BOTH jobs!! I jumped up and down like a little kid and didn't remember the last time I was so excited!! So then, I had to do a LIVESCAN background check to make sure I'm all good but it costs $55. Funny story, on the same day, I realized that the money I usually have in the bank to pay for my school loan was still in there so I called the company. They then informed me that I had paid my payments needed to get my loan in good standing and that they wouldn't be taking any more payments from me! I was like, "What?!!" I was so proud of myself. I finally finished something. My life is moving forward. So the money I was going to have to put out for the loan I was able to use for the background check!
So from a girl who was working 8 hours a week for minimum wage to 19 hours with 2 different job descriptions and one paying twice as much as the other while being able to do what she was made for is something so hard to describe. Like, I want to tell more people but I feel like it would be prideful. But in the same instant, I know it wasn't me. I showed up. Did the work and God opened the doors and gave me favor in a place that isn't just a place to work but a family trying to educate the lives of young ones.
There has been so much that has happened. I am in a writing mood so maybe I'll do another blog after this lol
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