So it's December 2nd 2013

My oh my how things have drastically transitioned in my life. I have had a boyfriend going on 6 months tomorrow, I have a new job that I absolutely love and will only grow in, I am closer to my dad than ever, I have a new church family, I am editing articles and having Thanksgiving parties, I found someone I wasn't sure I would, and my life is moving forward. Yes, I have had a rough go at it for the past few months. My family thinking that being controlling or disapproving would keep me safe when all it really did was make me sad and feeling as though I were a rabbit in a cage. Leaving a job I'd had for over a year and a half. Becoming my own person again. Loving a man who although God put in my life, hasn't always been easy. But really, what true love is always easy. Even the crazy fairytales have something horrible to overcome before they are together. I am working at a school as a science facilitator and didn't even apply for that position. I am becoming a woman. A God-fearing, people loving, truth telling, grace giving woman. 

If it weren't for the challenges in my life this year and choosing to overcome them with love and God's peace. I would not be where I am today. I would still be at a church where yes, of course they love the Lord and I love all the kids and everybody there, but it was a family business. I could only grow so much there. If it wasn't for applying for a job I didn't think I had a chance at and being confident in who I am, I wouldn't have the job I have. Well geeze, if I wouldn't have taken the math class in fall and spring and passed it I wouldn't have met my boyfriend nor would I have this job.

There is so much to be thankful for. I can see how God places people in each of our lives and how if we just follow His guide and follow the prompting of the Holy Spirit that amazing things will unfold in our lives. AMAZING things. I look at where I am now and I'm in awe. I got myself out of a big debt problem with a student loan so now I'm in the good zone so if I need other financial help, I can get it. I have been able to pay rent, pay off parking tickets and my registration on one paycheck. I have been honored to keep my peace in places and with people who are constantly sucking the energy and life out of others. God has given me so many gifts. I don't say that lightly or heightly. I say it because I know I have a responsibility to love. To love people into the Kingdom of God. I know there are people who are missionaries, who can preach a good sermon, who always TALK about Jesus all the time and yes the Lord uses them. But God has given me the gift of LOVE and COMPASSION. I know what it's like to live with hypocrites, I know what it's like to be abandoned, I know what it's like to feel like you're DOING all the RIGHT things but you don't see the favor of God on your life. But it's not about doing anything at all! It's about being in line with the Lord and seeking Him truly. Then He will line you up with where you are supposed to be and then your inpouring will eventually become outpouring. And I love Him for that. Well, of course there are many many things I love about my Lord but that is just one of them. There are 30 days in December and I plan on making them the best 30 days ever. 

To anyone who reads this, I want you to know...there is hope. There is someone that even though you haven't seen Him or maybe you don't even think you feel Him or maybe you believe He exists. He does. And He loves you more than you could ever imagine. If you think I'm lying, that's ok. You're hurt. People have done so much wrong to you it's easier to have the walls up and stay guarded. At least that's what you think. It will work for awhile but then being guarded all the time becomes tiring and depressing. Ask God the hard questions, He's not afraid of your doubt or anger. He welcomes it. That's where the healing lies.