Recent events

So, I'm no longer the worship leader of Templo El Oasis Foursquare Church English Service.
And it's been that way since August.

It's funny how people who have known you there whole life can know so little about your personality. But in all fairness, it's all I've shown them. I have been going to practice, and showing up EVERY Sunday morning at 7:30 since January. I love leading people into the presence of God. I truly do. When I'm there, nothing else matters. Time, space, attitudes, fears, insecurities....they all melt away when I raise my hands and my voice to the One who made me and for the Son who saved me.

Because of the largest of misunderstandings I have ever been a part of in my life, that position was taken away from me. Not because of a tangible thing. Sex, drugs, partying etc. But because of a judgment call that was made in the midst of emotions on something they could not put their finger on. I was willing to stay at the Church because if anyone knows me AT ALL, they know that I will be just as loud and boisterous whether I'm on a stage or not. It doesn't matter to me. I didn't leave because a position was taken away, I left because the manner in which things were handled were so angry and vile that for me to continue as if everything was fine and dandy wasn't possible. And because the church IS my family and so small, there was so way to just show up and be a part of the service without there being more problems.

So I left. I didn't intend on it. I didn't plan it. And I most definitely did not plan on it happening the way it did but it did. It was heart wrenching for a good while. For Sundays after that, I would cry because I knew I wasn't going to do what my heart loved. That things would never be the same. That there are kids whom I loved who were going to get the crap end of the stick because of what happened. It felt like a divorce. The kids always suffer.

I went to the boy's church for awhile. It was nice to not know anybody and to just blend in but quickly I realized it wasn't for me. It's for a lot of other people which is fine and no judgment call here but I needed something else. I definitely didn't expect to find it at a church my dad had just started leading worship at called, "The Connection".

Now I'm helping my dad's wife with the coffee and bagels in the morning before and after service and sing with my dad and his band occasionally when they ask or need me. That's about all the ministry I've been able to muster. I know the Lord has divine plans that I can't see but I'm glad that I am where I am. I am my own person. No one else's.