wowza

So I came against a brick wall yesterday...
and it hurt.

You know how people say that if you are trying to NOT be something so much that it occupies your mind most of the time, then that is EXACTLY what you'll become? Well, it happened to me.

Yes dear friends. The one thing I didn't want to be I became. Not myself. Of course out of all the other things I could possibly worry about that doesn't seem to be a big deal but if you knew me, those other things don't even have a breathe in my life anymore.

I've always battled with being myself. Where to draw the line between being loud and brutally honest and being super kind and an "angel". People who know me best know that I've been on a journey of being a b****, to being loving and compassionate and trying not to hurt anyone's feelings.

And here I am now. Having grown much during this past year, learning true humanity and learning (trying to comprehend) God's love, I have realized that the true identity of Amber Torres doesn't lie within herself as she once was ignorant of the truth. But as she is now...with the working knowledge of THE TRUTH. The One from which all things are created. Learning that I am this creation for a reason and for this season and if I TRULY want to be the me to the fullest potential. I must put all other opinions and thoughts to the wayside and completely focus on what I kNOW I'm supposed to be or figure out along the way.

This is really a change for me. Being aware. That is my slogan this season. Constantly living life on purpose. Never a thought a look or anything without my filture....MY FILTURE...which God gave ME.