da hips

I just wanted to dance.
Something about swiveling the hips
And waving the arms that makes me...
Sane.
People do different things...
pottery, yoga, pilates, cooking
I dance.
I was sitting in the car with a friend
And club music came on...
And I couldn't dance.
I couldn't be in a hot, sweaty place
With dozens of other people
Being able to have my own world...
my own moment to be alive.
I had to drive.
And here's the question I ask God.
Why do I love to dance in a way that...
A. Men love
B. "Provacative"
C. "Not appropriate"
D. Not church approved.
I am well aware of the many styles of dance.
And in any dance I'm happy...
Even ballet.
I love being aware of what my body is doing and making it do what I want
I love physically expressing something that is inside.
That's what I did tonight
I was irritated
So at midnight
I decided to sneak to my back garage
Turn on the booty music
And swing da hips
No one watching
No one there
Just me.
I do feel sexy
Even if just for myself
It is one of the best times to be a woman
Dancing is a woman using her God given womanness
To bring out her energy
Her vibe
Her sensual side...
Without saying a word

And there part of my problem lies
I don't want any man's knowledge of my sensual womanness
Except one
And he can't see that
Therefore
I refrain.
I go into my garage with a radio and dance...
For the sake of my sanity
For the sake of all that is me.
Come to think about it
I've NEVER fully danced in front of anyone
EVER.
There was always a part of me that has held back
Unless no one is around.
People think they know
But as cliche as it may seem
They have no idea.