He was

He was one of my best friends
And not to mention good looking
We laughed at eachothers jokes
I caught him looking at me
When he thought I didn't see

He pushed me in the right direction
Always wanting me to be me
Never wanting to hold me back
Never wanting to do something wrong
Little did he know
That exactly the things he didn't want
Would come so strong

He lied
And as much as I would love to make excuses
I can't
An open honesty policy is what I had
That's all I asked
Be real
And I will do the same
Ask me any question
I will do the same

It was too much
We were in two different places
Who knew that people only 2 years apart
Could have such vast lifestyle pasts
That one would have three kids
And the other still lived her dad

Our hearts were in the right places
We want what is best for eachother
And if this is it
Then so be it
I will take the pain

I will take the heartache
I will take the random spurts of crying
No reason in sight
I will yell to God asking for peace
I will scream into my pillow
Hoping that I will wake up and this will cease

I will look up and look on
Keeping him in my prayers
I will do what I am on this earth to do
And I expect nothingless from him
We will move forward
With so much knowledge gained

I could never repay him
For what he taught me
For through him
God opened up my mind
I could never repay him
For treating me like I should
For caring
For understanding
For enjoying all my quirky behaviors
I could never repay him for it

I can love him enough to let him go
And one day, I'll see him at a future show

I hope that I gave him hope
A reason to live on
I hope I helped him know
That there are people like him
Few and verrry far between
But they exist

Because he did that for me
He proved to me that I'm not alone
In a world full of cynics and unbelief

I love him the way God loves him
I see him and his future and I am excited
I see him with his children
No sadness in the slightest
He will reach thousands
He will conquer the world
But as for now
He just has to have complete dependence on Him

Just like the rest of us
Complete dependence on the one who doens't freak out
The one who doesn't flake
The one who is always there
The one who loves us so much that he is willing
To have us go through a little pain and sorrow
To avoid the big blows in life