Timing...

If there's one singular thing I've learned in my life it's about timing.
I have horrible timing.
And no, I don't mean musically because well...I'm pretty awesome at that, haha.
I mean life timing.
God timing.
I always seem to be a few steps ahead of where I should be and although it wouldn't seem like a big deal, a lot happens in a few steps.

God has once again shown me that He knows EXACTLY what He is doing and that He doesn't need me to finagle anything. All He needs from me is faith and obedience. That there is no plan or series of events in my puny mind that could even come close to the things He has in store. It is really humbling but at the same time, burden lifting. Because in this world where we are constantly told we need to be this or do that or look like her or act like that in order to be loved or have things go "right"; it's nice to know that the one who knew me before anyone else and knows me better than I know myself has got everything under control.

I also get to see how much of a control freak I can be. (I never knew) I mean, in certain instances like music I knew it but not with life stuff. Giving God the reigns means I don't have to... like I said earlier, finagle or manipulate anything. If you would have asked me if my intentions were those things I would have said, "Of course not." I'm 25 and through a recent situation have realized and learned more about myself in a short month than with anyone else or at any other time of my life. (You know who you are :) ) And although a lot of it is a slap to the face, it's a slap I'll gladly take if it means I grow as a person. As a loving human being.

Sometimes we have to be willing to take the "slap" to the face in order to get out of ourselves and see who we really are. The raw, unadulterated, broken, insecure, controlling person we are so that we can say... "Ok God, where does all this crap come from and help me pinpoint it so I can ask you to heal me so that the enemy can't use this anymore."

And believe me, He WILL SHOW YOU haha