Scarlet

Today I got my belt from dance. The color is scarlet. It's the color I've been seeing for probably a month now. The verse Francy (my dance leader) gave me was Exodus 12:13 which states "And the blood shall be to you for a token upon the houses where ye are; and when I see the blood, I will pass over you, and the plague shall not be upon you to destroy you, when I smite the land of Egypt."

This is deep for me. I feel like the Lord is saying that this color represents that as long as I abide in Him, he will protect not just myself, but those who are around me to be protected when others will endure the smiting of God. The blood is so significant with Jesus/Yeshua dying on the cross. He bore the pain and flowed of the blood. He is my protection and my vindicator. As long as I stay with my first true love, I am protected.

Another thing the Lord revealed to me about this color was....well, let me back up a little bit. When I was younger (13-17) my color was baby pink. At first I didn't like it but eventually it grew on me. lol. I then left the dance team and just came back in about september I want to say. I've been asking the Lord to show me why I feel people treat me as if I am a child and He told me that it is two parts. The first part was because I have a child-like spirit full of faith and joy, and then the other part (the part I needed to work on) was that I didn't show my self-confidence OR confidence in what the Lord was showing me or telling me. Therefore, people feel as though they have to explain things or "baby" me because they think I don't get it, when in fact, more times than not, I do. I was really surprised by this because in my heart, I feel confident...well, more than I used to, but I never really portrayed that. I would just keep quiet or pretend like I wasn't understanding so people wouldn't get "intimidated" or feel like I was trying to make a name for myself.

The truth is, the only name I want them to see when they see me is God. Holy Spirit. Yeshua. Truth. Love. Kindness. Patience. Perserverance. Not Amber Torres. And the Lord is teaching me that He can only work so much in me if I keep fearing man because most of what He does is going to make people feel uncomfortable. But then again, why would Jesus die on the cross and rise from the grave to make people feel comfortable. He came so we might be saved. But that means we have to accept His invitation.

Anyway...haha. As I was praying the Lord showed me that I am going through the transition from girl to woman. Taking the child's heart with me but leaving childish things (thinking) behind. That's what the red/scarlet represented to me. In the Hebrew culture, when a bride was married, the couple would consummate their marriage and the blood from the hymen was on a cloth and when the threw the cloth over the wall, the party started! Then the celebration lasted a good week or two haha. That's what the Lord is saying to me, I am His bride and He is my husband. It makes me cry just writing about it because for so many years I tried to do the "right" thing and feel like I was accepted somewhere and God is shouting at me. Come bride! Let's celebrate and Dance and rejoice for you and I are one. Where I go you go, and where you are there I am also. We are intertwined at the hip. You are my beautiful, pure, precious, anointed, joyful, kind daughter. I will protect you and provide for you and be there when you feel lonely, and be your strength and wisdom.

I am in awe. And I accept.